Dad Tip #17 – Weird Baby
I received all kinds of great feedback from last week’s post on the importance of Dads spending a lot of time in Skin-to-Skin contact with Baby. In particular, a lot of the positive feedback specifically appreciated that I recommend plenty of ongoing Skin-to-Skin contact between Dads and Babies, not just a one-time event the day Baby is born. So many readers shared stories of their own bonding experiences with Baby in those early months and how Skin-to-Skin was instrumental in that process. All that being said, one savvy reader suggested I remind y’all here of the one Dad Tip that really saved him on Day 1 and allowed him to fully step into his role of Dad and get that oh-so-important Skin-to-Skin time right there at the beginning – Dad Tip #17 – Weird Baby.
The vast majority of guys have zero experience with newborn babies. And I mean zilch. Why would they unless they worked in Labor & Delivery in a hospital, right? They do, however, have lots of exposure to pictures of cute little infants all plump and either sleeping or happily awake from social media, friends, and all those Baby-related products they’ve seen recently as part of their new baby prep work. But guess what? All those professional “new baby” pictures are usually of babies that are 3 weeks of age and older, not newborns fresh out of the womb. New babies can look A LOT different!
Brand new babies are not usually plump, sleeping, or happily awake and smiling. They are often covered in blood and/or mucus and/or poop and/or vernix (a white waxy substance) and/or lanugo (a fine, downy hair). They can be quite skinny, at least when compared to a plump 3 month old. They tend to be a little banged up from their journey and can have swollen eyes, some bruising, enlarged genitals, and be a pretty wide range of colors. Finally, they can also have very pronounced cone-shaped heads as a result of their journey through the birth canal. In sum, brand new babies can be quite weird looking!
I mention all that to you here, on the advice of my savvy reader mentioned above, because so-many guys are shocked or startled when their newborn baby comes out like I describe above and not at all like the vision of the chunky 3-month old that was in their head. The shock and confusion that ensues can leave many a new Dad stunned and frozen to the ground, unsure if Baby is OK and resistant to wanting to hold them.
Don’t let this happen to you! Expect your Baby to come out looking a little weird, and be ready to fully embrace them just as they are. And don’t worry, usually Mama gets at least the first hour of Skin-to-Skin, so Baby should be a lot cleaner and settled once it’s your turn.
***My final bit of advice here is to look back to my Dad Tip #15 – Watch a few Birth Videos to see what actual childbirth looks like and to see a few other “weird babies” before you meet yours. And for extra credit, watch these videos with Mama to really maximize your better connected, better prepared points here.
